One of the many ways in which I was quite an unusual child was how carefully I rationed Easter eggs. Where most children would eat their whole chocolate egg in a frenzy of sugary abandon, I would nibble mine tiny piece by tiny piece over several weeks. I think at some point my parents might even have got frustrated with my choco-stinginess and admonished me “just eat it!”
I’m sure I would have aced a classic “marshmallow test” to measure a child’s ability to restrain themselves. That’s a good skill to have. But like all strengths, it can become a weakness if we take it too far. Sometimes it’s better to seize the moment, in order not to defer our joy indefinitely.
My favourite “new year” article was from Oliver Burkeman, author of the excellent 4000 Weeks.
“The new year should be the moment we commit to dedicating more of our finite hours on the planet to things we genuinely, deeply enjoy doing – to the activities that seize our interest, and that make us feel vibrantly alive. This should be the year you stop trying so hard to turn yourself into a better person, and focus instead on actually leading a more absorbing life.
…The celebrated child psychology research known as the “marshmallow experiments” suggests that it’s a great asset to have the kind of self-discipline that enables you to defer the gratification of a single marshmallow in order to receive an additional marshmallow, later on. But life offers no prizes for being so good at deferring gratification that you accumulate a thousand uneaten marshmallows, then drop dead. At some point, you’re going to have to eat a marshmallow.”
The usefulness of advice depends on where you’re starting from. But if that speaks to something in you, you can read the full article here.